I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
