Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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