He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
