but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
