the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
