Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And then he peed in my hair
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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