There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
3 2 1 whiskey
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
