ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
