You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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