Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have post one night stand depression
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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