I hate all girls vehemently.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
