it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
