where does the pee come out of this thing
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
