i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
