I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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