New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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