i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
