i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
