someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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