NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
