4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
