escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
