even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I AM VODKA MAN
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
