David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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