he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
