I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
