Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together

(770): View more from Georgia

The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy

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(770): View more from Georgia

good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.

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(214): View more from Texas

well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.

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(775): View more from Nevada

This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"

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(925): View more from California

I am no longer embarassed by my vagina

(925): View more from California

It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him

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