just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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