Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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