State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
