Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
