I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
