So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
