3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
