i think my tv is drunk
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I believe in your delicious
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
