You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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