he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
