break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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