Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
