At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
