I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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