It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
