i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
