He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
