Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
