Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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