Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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