Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
