so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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