Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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